Some advice would be good right about now... //Private. Possible chocolate milk?//

Seriously. He just couldn't get the freshman out of his head. It didn't matter what he tried. Writing new songs, it wound up with his feelings towards him. Making chords, it turned into what was no doubt a ballad. Gaming, made him remember The Day. Even doing homework caused him to think of Minato and how he was always doing Kushina's homework.

Why, oh why did he have to fall so hopelessly in love with the blond little goody-two-shoes that was about as far from him personality-wise as was even possible? An inward sigh. Just your luck, Hatake. The world obviously hates you.

That's why Kakashi, for the first time in a couple months, was walking down the corridor to the teachers' dorms. Almost all the way down at the end of the male teachers' corridor, until he came upon the door of their sex ed teacher, and also his favorite novelist. He figured, if anyone could really help him at this school with his problem, one way or another, it would be Jiraiya. Sighing, he ran his hand through the now-black hair one last time, biting his lip slightly as he knocked on the door.

There came indeterminate noises from inside, then, "All right, all right, hold your horses!"
Soon after, Jiraiya tore open the door. He was wearing a kimono, and his hair stuck out every which way. Seeing Kakashi, he raised an eyebrow, then leered.
"Well, if it isn't Hatake-kun. Which.. services.. do you request of the gallant Jiraiya-sensei?"

"I was.... Hoping for some advice, is the best way to put it, I think." he tried for a smile but it didn't extend to his eyes at all. "On a rather private matter."

"Oooooh...." Jiraiya laid his face into serious folds. He reached out a long arm and put it around Kakashi's shoulders. "Then you've come to exactly the right person. Come on in, kid. I've got a nice bottle of wine for something like this."
Inconspicuously, he looked down Kakashi's back as he pulled the young man through his door, to check out the teenager's pert ass.

Which was perhaps just a tad bit firmer, more muscular, than last time he'd seen him, now that he'd earned his second Dan and trained slightly more, a bit of weight lifting as well, now. Well, he was just overall a bit leaner, firmer, so to speak. Muscles a tad more pronounced.
He simply followed, of course. "I did figure you might know just a bit of all the troubles falling in love with a wrong person might give you."

Jiraiya's face fell.
"Ah. Yeah, you could say that. So that's the kind of trouble, eh?" He went through to the living room, opened his massive liquor cabinet and got out an expensive-looking bottle and two glasses.

A small nod. "Yeah. The guy's already in a.... Very committed relationship, so to speak." Well, engagement and all...

"Ah. Well, is he going to un-commit or share, ever?" Jiraiya opened the bottle, poured two glasses and handed one to Kakashi. "Savour it. It's expensive. Present from an admirer," he winked, then threw down the first glass like it was water.

"Engaged, now, so probably not." he sighed and took a rather large mouthful. "Ah, to heck with it. It's easier if I just tell you who." he said, running a hand through his hair and scratching his neck. "Minato. You know, Namikaze from first year."

"What the..." Jiraiya stared in disbelief. "That little squirt? He's engaged? To that redhead with the big tits?" Practiced hands gestured exactly how big in the air. "I didn't think you'd go for..." a frown " the wholesome type."

"Yeah, he is. And.... No, I don't usually go for his type." he sighed. "I dunno, there's just... Something. I can't stop thinking about him all the fucking time. No matter what I do, nearly everything reminds me of him in some way. And the one round we had in the showers." he revealed.

"...you're saying you fucked the Namikaze kid in the showers?" Jiraiya whistled and poured more wine for himself, topping up Kakashi's glass. "Maybe he isn't such a stick in the mud after all. But, aren't you friends with the girlfriend? You looking to get yourself a piece of that as well? I don't blame you.. that's a seriously nice rack," he drooled a little.

"Not looking to get a piece of Kushina, no. Been there, done that. We tried twice; we just don't work out as a couple. Fine as friends, though." a small nod as thanks, and he drank a bit more.

"How about you take that spindly kid, and I move in to comfort the little lady?" Jiraiya sighed dreamily. "Man. Hey, what's she like in the sack? I bet she'd be in for some kinky stuff. Maybe I could show her the ropes.." he daydreamed.

"She wants to be on top. And well. She'd nice enough. But nah, I.. Don't want to ruin anything for them. I've never seen her as happy as she is with him. She's even happier than when she was with my stepbrother..." something akin to a shadow flickered over his place, before he, to chase away dark memories, took a rather large gulp, almost emptying the glass.

"What IS it with you kids? Friends and fucking don't go together," Jiraiya mumbled. "That's just gonna turn to shit." The glass was immediately topped up, then Jiraiya finished the bottle. "Hm. They don't make them as big as they used to... So. You seem to have it bad for Mr. Proper. Whattaya want me to do about that?"

"I doubt anything, really, CAN be done. I just want to be able to think about something else. Anything else. Not him all the time. It's driving me crazy."

Jiraiya shrugged. "You're in love. It sucks balls, kid." He got up with a groan and dug out another bottle. "Got this from my publisher. It's imported." He poured Kakashi's glass full, with saké this time, and his own likewise.

"Can't someone put me in a coma and wake me up when I'm no longer in love, then." he grumbled, but took a sip.

"Nah. Love doesn't go away." Jiraiya smiled wistfully and downed his glass. "Bottoms up," he chuckled, and poured another.

"I wish it would." he sighed and downed the glass. "One of our groupies even looks exactly like him. Just older. Been a couple rounds with him, too."

"Stick to him. That Namikaze kid's too pure for you." The way Jiraiya scowled when he said 'pure' left no doubt what he thought about that particular character flaw. "He'll end up marrying big tits, and they'll have tons of kids and be ridiculously happy. Urgh."

"Does seem like it." he sighed. "Well. Then I need to polish my persuasion skills for Jake to stay here when we don't have any concerts. He's been with us from way back in Miami, you see. Though I plan to move back there after school. Shouldn't be too hard to persuade him since it's just a year over here..." even more alcohol.

"Is he going to be satisfied with being a stand-in? In other words, is he dumb enough or enough in love with you that he can deal with you only being around him because you can pretend it's Namikaze when you fuck him?"

"He's at least been... Fascinated with me... For two years or so. I don't know if he's actually in love with me or not." he pulled out his cell and leafed through the photos, until he came upon one from Christmas. "This's Jake." he then handed the phone to Jiraiya so that he could see. it was a picture of them both, one arm around the other, Kakashi's trademark smile there, while Jake's was a rather bright grin.