Some advice would be good right about now... //Private. Possible chocolate milk?//

"Ah. Well. I.." Jiraiya coughed and hastily downed more whiskey, mumbling something about damn pollen as he wiped at his nose. "Well. That would probably not work, then."

"And I was the one driving, so I still feel goddamn responsible for the mess we both wound up being. And Kushina, too." he muttered, kicking weakly at the floor. Kushina might hide it well, but he knew she still hurt like fuck, too.

"Sad shit, kid. You'll learn to deal with it, or learn how to drink it away. Knock yourself out," he grabbed a bottle from the cabinet and threw it at Kakashi.

He sighed, but caught it nevertheless. "My therapist tells me I'm making progress, at least." he muttered. Then considered for some seconds, before he took a swig from the bottle.

"Yeah. 'What doesn't kill you---' and all that."

"I guess. Even if I wish he was the one alive and not me."

"Well, you can only halfway fix that - and won't Rin be more unhappy if she loses both of you?"

"Mmhmm. It's because of her and Kushina that I still hang around." he sighed and took another swig.

"That's sad as hell, kid." Jiraiya didn't sound sympathetic or disapproving, just stating a fact. He sat down in his armchair and absently scratched his chest.

A weak shrug. "Well. Story of my life, I guess."

"If you're just gonna sit there and wallow in self-pity, let me have the numbers of some of your groupie chicks so I can keep them entertained in the meantime."

"I don't have their numbers." he shrugged. "I just grab one at random after a concert and get to it."

"You're a sad excuse for a man;" Jiraiya decided. "Always, always, ALWAYS keep numbers around. I have mine colour coded for sluttiness and special preferences."

He shrugged. "I don't see the point. I only keep people I actually care about, for other things than fucking, in my phone book. Partly because Lily once got a hold of my phone and saw five girl names in it she didn't recognize and forced me to explain."

"Mothers will be mothers," Jiraiya said airily, waving his hand about. "You need to keep record. You never know when it'll come in handy. Fame is fleeting."

Another shrug. "I've got the numbers of the guys and girls in the strip club. That's gotta suffice."

"You say that now - in a few years, you'll be thanking me for my advice." Jiraiya belched discreetly, the alcohol finally getting to him.

"So you say. Now," he handed him the half-finished bottle back, "I better get going before it kicks in. I don't want another week of detention."

Jiraiya scratched his balls. "I'll write you a note to excuse you. Say it was a science experiment."

A weak chuckle, slight shake of his head. "You've got an answer for everything, huh?"

"Nah, just everything I can get in trouble for. Now piss off. I gotta pack."

"I was on my way to." a small shrug. "See you around," finally, with a wave, he left.